Come on Down, We'll Show Ya a Good Time!

Some friends – Tye and Char – who are from California, recently came for a visit. It was so great to have them here. Since it was their first time in New Zealand, we wanted to cram all the fun stuff they could possibly do into their 10 days!

We went to the beach, visited geothermal sites, took them fishing, and pointed them toward every touristy option they could squeeze in.

Their last day in New Zealand was a Saturday and we aimed to send them off with a ‘big bang.’ We had to ‘Kiwi-ise’ them in a monstrous way!

So, first, we dropped them off at the famous Glow worm Caves. These are caves you walk through and then get on a boat in a very dark underwater cavern where these glow worms dangle from the ceiling. They glow in eerie silence. It’s way cool.

We met them on their way out of the caves anticipating their delight at the natural wonder . .. . however their only comment was about a 20 inch trout they saw toward the end of the trip. Hmmmm, I was wondering . . … perhaps they were unimpressed? Perhaps I don’t remember how much it takes to impress the over-stimulated American brain these days?

Oh well, no time to dwell on their reaction, many sites to see, many sites to see. . . . next stop - - - the local Angora rabbit farm.

Yes, I know you are thinking, “boy, Rod and Heather how to show their guests a good time!”

Yes, this was exciting stuff . . . in fact, we just got to the farm in time for the 1pm shearing demonstration! Oh yeah, baby!

We entered the barn-like tourist trap and made our way to the back room and there was one of the owners of the farm – an older woman of about 60. She had this beautiful, white, long-haired rabbit in what looked like a 10th Century torture device.

The rabbit’s front legs were stretched out rather tautly and tied to one pole, while its body laid on a flat board. Its back legs were also stretched out and tied to another pole. This now allowed the shearer to rotate the rabbit – who was oddly quite still – on this rotisserie device and sheer him down to the skin.

The shearing room was very small – about 15 feet square. And there were only 7 people watching this poor rabbit being basted – oops, I mean sheared…. But, despite this, the second owner of the farm – a rough-looking woman of about 65, turned on her microphone and amp that she bought in 1972 and begun talking to the tourists.

She told the history of the rabbits and astonished the crowd with tales of how they cost $2000 for a male and $3000 for a female. They own 350 rabbits (who live in pristine barns, apparently, in some undisclosed location. She was reluctant to reveal their exact address to keep rebel tourists from stealing bunnies to take home as a souvenirs).

Well, the shearing was over, the rabbit looked like a naked cat with a fuzzy head, we all piled in the car and were off to the next stop on the tour. There were no comments from either of our guests . . . no oooos or aaaaahs……. . hmmm…. Here are some pics of the rabbits:

But, the next activity would surely surprise and amaze, I thought. We were off to the tiny town of Te Kuiti for New Zealand’s equivalent of the ‘running of the bulls in Pamplona’ - - the running of 2000 sheep down the centre of town.

We got to Te Kuiti and there were two blocks of town roped off with food, craft and various stalls of grandmas selling jam and sundry items. It’s about at this point that I put on my ‘American eyes’ and thought back to what I would have been thinking nine years ago when I first landed on the island. . . . . I am quickly realising that this is perhaps the most mundane, hokiest thing I’ve ever taken anyone to do.

Sheep are going to run down a road in the centre of this tiny little town. Why is this event even something worthy of advertising to tourists???

Oh well, we’re here now. Even though I am now anxious about the stupid activities I am boring my guests with, we hang in there….

All of a sudden, an announcer comes on the loud speaker and urges the crowd to take their spots on the sides of the street. “Hurray to your places everyone and pick up the weedmat!” he exclaims.

‘Pick up the weed mat’ - - WHAT THE!? We look down and as far as the eye can see, on both sides of the street is a huge piece of weedmat that stretches for literally a mile or more.

The idea is that everyone in the crowd forms a human fence, holding the weedmat up. This will ‘fool’ the sheep into thinking they need to run straight down the street and into the pen awaiting them.

Well, we look around and shrug . . . . if you can’t beat ‘um, join ‘um, as they say. We pick up the weedmat and become a human sheep fence.

It’s about this time, Rod and I look around and Tye and Char are nowhere to be seen. They’ve gone down the road trying to find a better viewpoint, we figure. “Or maybe,” I thought, “they’ve gone back to the car??”

Anyway, Rod and I enjoyed it. It was hilarious. I took a video if you want to watch. . . . the funniest part is my uncontrollable giggles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rilhu-F7UOU

With that over, there was only one last place to stop – the Kiwi House on the way home. You can’t come to New Zealand without seeing a Kiwi bird, right?!

We pay $10 each and see the Kiwi, which takes about 5 minutes. I now am really seeing this from an American’s point of view. This is a bit boring, actually. I’m a bit embarrassed – this just doesn’t compare to the “American Theme Park type experience” they may have been expecting from us!

We sped through the Kiwi house and headed home for a beer - perhaps the most exciting and enjoyable part of the day for them, I fear!

I’ve concluded from this experience I think Rod and I are becoming too ‘Kiwi-ised.’ Our ideas of fun have become somewhat skewed to say the least! We’ve gotta get outta here - - someone rescue us!

Oh well . . . . don’t let this story scare you off. You’re invited to come down anytime. And, we promise to take you to see the glow worms and rabbits and sheep and Kiwi birds! I know you are booking your tickets now!!