Racing the Dog
This past August I was coming out of my typical ‘winter funk’ not having exercised much over the rainy season. So, I thought committing myself to run Hamilton’s 12 kilometre Bridge to Bridge fun run would be the trick to get myself in shape by training . . . . I had 3 months to do it. Easy.
Last week, on Wednesday, it’s 4 days till race day and I’m wondering, ‘if I ran the next 3 days, could I possibly get in shape for a 12k run?’ Nope - - so, I downgrade my expectations, ‘I’ll just run the alternate 6k race, thanks.’ Piece of cake.
Is it also too late to train for 6k? Thursday comes, ‘I should really go for a run and see if I can do it...’ Friday rolls around, ‘Run? Hmmm.... kinda rainy...’
Now it’s Friday night and I discuss my dilemma with a friend . . . do I run tomorrow (one day before the race) to see if I can actually run the whole distance, or do I just wing it on Sunday? The risk is I may be too sore on Sunday if I run Saturday after so many months of being such a lump. The overwhelming consensus (by us both) is that it would be madness (MADness I tell you) to run on Saturday and risk injury. Just wake up and go on Sunday. Okay, then, that’s the plan.
Not feeling sufficiently carbed up after 6 months of a bread-heavy diet, I ensure I’ll have energy for the big day by eating a bit of pizza on Saturday night. I do limit myself to one wine, though. Gotta be clear-headed for the big race (hey, I’m all about being kind to my body as it is a temple).
I rise on Sunday early so I can have my high protein breakfast (why I don’t go for more carbs, I can’t say). I inspect the skies . . . looks like rain and gosh, it’s a bit chilly. One thing you must know about me - - - I am a fair-weather outside sport kinda gal. If there is a hint of rain, even a slight percentage chance of showers, there’s no way you’re getting me out to run, golf, play tennis or perform any other outside activity. Perhaps I was a ‘wicked witch’ in a past life? Who knows? All I do know is rain and sport for Heather are not a happy mix.
So, I’m not delighted at the prospect of running this race in rain. But, too late to cancel now...
Anyway, the cats wish me luck and I take off. I register among the 4000+ runners, don my race number and affix my timing device to my shoe. This is all seeming quite ‘real’ now (damn, I should have trained!).
I hang around the start line and wait for the cue to queue. At 9:25 it comes and I squeeze into a place among the crowds. It was like standing in a crowded elevator . . . . I wonder, ‘how am I supposed to take off like Usain Bolt in this mess of people?’ Then my mind switches from annoyance to worry, ‘If I go too slowly, will I get run over in the stampede?’
As the one-minute-till-racetime notice is given I suddenly have one last thought, ‘should I have stretched a bit?’ Oh well, too late now. If I attempt to stretch my quads I risk kicking the guy behind me in the whatsits.
The buzzer sounds and the race begins. . . at a snail’s pace at first, picking up speed every few meters . . . . okay now I’m feigning a run at grandma speed . . . . oh, yes, here we go that’s a better pace. And I’m off! No Bolt, but it’ll do.
As I find my pace, I turn on the ole’ i-Pod Shuffle with my 850 songs. What I need is a good motivational, fast-paced mix to help me keep my mind off my unfit body. First song, slow. . . . second, too slow. I start fiddling with the darn fast-forward button, trying to keep my pace, but it’s hard to concentrate on running and i-Poding at the same TIME. I click 3 times and WHY IS THIS DARN THING PLAYING NEIL DIAMOND OVER AND OVER!!! This is not good for concentrating on the race at hand. I keep clicking 3 times trying to fast forward to the next song, TRYing to find a fast song. THERE ARE 850 SONGS on this darn thing, why are they all so darn slow!! AND WHY does the same Neil Diamond song keep playing over and OVER!
Ah. . . . okay, calming down . ... I suddenly realise it’s TWO clicks for fast-forward, THREE clicks for rewind. Right, that’s how long it’s been since I ran with my i-Pod. Okay, after listening to Neil 3 times over, it’s about 1.5k into it and I finally get some fast motivational music going.
Now, I’m in a groove . . . uh-huh . . . gooday nods all around . . . . feeling good . . . smilin’ a bit . . . lookin’ good in the colour-coordinated running outfit I must say . . . . surprisingly not too tired . . . sun is shining . . . hey this is kinda fun.
It’s now time to eye up the competition. I’ve got my eye on two. A schnauzer and his owner seem to keep one step ahead of me at all times. Even a stop for a poop and scoop doesn’t keep them behind me too long. Always just in front of me. Kilometre 4 comes around and my goal now is not to be beaten by the dog.
I’ve got one eye on the dog and one eye on an older lady who keeps walking a bit and running a bit and each time she runs, she passes me! The nerve. I keep thinking, I can’t be beaten by a dog and I can’t be beaten by walk/run lady (as she’s now known as)! Surely I should be rewarded for: a) being human and b) running the WHOLE race without stopping . . . .
Kilometre 5 comes and we’re getting toward the end now. And, just when I think I’m gaining on the darn dog, he and his owner turn right when I turn left . . . . the dog has decided to run the 12k race. Oh . ... he must have been training since August! Grrr...
Okay, well, that leaves me and the walk/run lady. She’s still at it – wimp . . . .
Now, we’re on the home stretch, I’ve just come off a big hill that leads to the finish line. I can see it in the distance and the walk/run lady is AHEAD of me. No, I can’t let this happen. So, I find that last bit of energy (this must be what the carbo loading was for??) and pick up my speed for the last hundred metres, leaving her IN MY DUST! Huh, take that walk/run lady!
So, I did it. I didn’t stop. I finished 446 out of 1500+ people who did the 6k, so I wasn’t in the bottom half! When I told Rod about my finishing time he said, ‘that’s what is called a benchmark (irritating fingertip quote marks happening on the last word!).’
So, I raced a dog who was fitter than me, but beat the walk/run lady. But, more importantly, I enjoyed myself and am determined to run regularly once again.
(However, forecast for today is heavy rain at times.) Tomorrow, then, TOMORROW we start the new running regime!
Last week, on Wednesday, it’s 4 days till race day and I’m wondering, ‘if I ran the next 3 days, could I possibly get in shape for a 12k run?’ Nope - - so, I downgrade my expectations, ‘I’ll just run the alternate 6k race, thanks.’ Piece of cake.
Is it also too late to train for 6k? Thursday comes, ‘I should really go for a run and see if I can do it...’ Friday rolls around, ‘Run? Hmmm.... kinda rainy...’
Now it’s Friday night and I discuss my dilemma with a friend . . . do I run tomorrow (one day before the race) to see if I can actually run the whole distance, or do I just wing it on Sunday? The risk is I may be too sore on Sunday if I run Saturday after so many months of being such a lump. The overwhelming consensus (by us both) is that it would be madness (MADness I tell you) to run on Saturday and risk injury. Just wake up and go on Sunday. Okay, then, that’s the plan.
Not feeling sufficiently carbed up after 6 months of a bread-heavy diet, I ensure I’ll have energy for the big day by eating a bit of pizza on Saturday night. I do limit myself to one wine, though. Gotta be clear-headed for the big race (hey, I’m all about being kind to my body as it is a temple).
I rise on Sunday early so I can have my high protein breakfast (why I don’t go for more carbs, I can’t say). I inspect the skies . . . looks like rain and gosh, it’s a bit chilly. One thing you must know about me - - - I am a fair-weather outside sport kinda gal. If there is a hint of rain, even a slight percentage chance of showers, there’s no way you’re getting me out to run, golf, play tennis or perform any other outside activity. Perhaps I was a ‘wicked witch’ in a past life? Who knows? All I do know is rain and sport for Heather are not a happy mix.
So, I’m not delighted at the prospect of running this race in rain. But, too late to cancel now...
Anyway, the cats wish me luck and I take off. I register among the 4000+ runners, don my race number and affix my timing device to my shoe. This is all seeming quite ‘real’ now (damn, I should have trained!).
I hang around the start line and wait for the cue to queue. At 9:25 it comes and I squeeze into a place among the crowds. It was like standing in a crowded elevator . . . . I wonder, ‘how am I supposed to take off like Usain Bolt in this mess of people?’ Then my mind switches from annoyance to worry, ‘If I go too slowly, will I get run over in the stampede?’
As the one-minute-till-racetime notice is given I suddenly have one last thought, ‘should I have stretched a bit?’ Oh well, too late now. If I attempt to stretch my quads I risk kicking the guy behind me in the whatsits.
The buzzer sounds and the race begins. . . at a snail’s pace at first, picking up speed every few meters . . . . okay now I’m feigning a run at grandma speed . . . . oh, yes, here we go that’s a better pace. And I’m off! No Bolt, but it’ll do.
As I find my pace, I turn on the ole’ i-Pod Shuffle with my 850 songs. What I need is a good motivational, fast-paced mix to help me keep my mind off my unfit body. First song, slow. . . . second, too slow. I start fiddling with the darn fast-forward button, trying to keep my pace, but it’s hard to concentrate on running and i-Poding at the same TIME. I click 3 times and WHY IS THIS DARN THING PLAYING NEIL DIAMOND OVER AND OVER!!! This is not good for concentrating on the race at hand. I keep clicking 3 times trying to fast forward to the next song, TRYing to find a fast song. THERE ARE 850 SONGS on this darn thing, why are they all so darn slow!! AND WHY does the same Neil Diamond song keep playing over and OVER!
Ah. . . . okay, calming down . ... I suddenly realise it’s TWO clicks for fast-forward, THREE clicks for rewind. Right, that’s how long it’s been since I ran with my i-Pod. Okay, after listening to Neil 3 times over, it’s about 1.5k into it and I finally get some fast motivational music going.
Now, I’m in a groove . . . uh-huh . . . gooday nods all around . . . . feeling good . . . smilin’ a bit . . . lookin’ good in the colour-coordinated running outfit I must say . . . . surprisingly not too tired . . . sun is shining . . . hey this is kinda fun.
It’s now time to eye up the competition. I’ve got my eye on two. A schnauzer and his owner seem to keep one step ahead of me at all times. Even a stop for a poop and scoop doesn’t keep them behind me too long. Always just in front of me. Kilometre 4 comes around and my goal now is not to be beaten by the dog.
I’ve got one eye on the dog and one eye on an older lady who keeps walking a bit and running a bit and each time she runs, she passes me! The nerve. I keep thinking, I can’t be beaten by a dog and I can’t be beaten by walk/run lady (as she’s now known as)! Surely I should be rewarded for: a) being human and b) running the WHOLE race without stopping . . . .
Kilometre 5 comes and we’re getting toward the end now. And, just when I think I’m gaining on the darn dog, he and his owner turn right when I turn left . . . . the dog has decided to run the 12k race. Oh . ... he must have been training since August! Grrr...
Okay, well, that leaves me and the walk/run lady. She’s still at it – wimp . . . .
Now, we’re on the home stretch, I’ve just come off a big hill that leads to the finish line. I can see it in the distance and the walk/run lady is AHEAD of me. No, I can’t let this happen. So, I find that last bit of energy (this must be what the carbo loading was for??) and pick up my speed for the last hundred metres, leaving her IN MY DUST! Huh, take that walk/run lady!
So, I did it. I didn’t stop. I finished 446 out of 1500+ people who did the 6k, so I wasn’t in the bottom half! When I told Rod about my finishing time he said, ‘that’s what is called a benchmark (irritating fingertip quote marks happening on the last word!).’
So, I raced a dog who was fitter than me, but beat the walk/run lady. But, more importantly, I enjoyed myself and am determined to run regularly once again.
(However, forecast for today is heavy rain at times.) Tomorrow, then, TOMORROW we start the new running regime!
Comments
You could always take up cycling!!