What Does $135 Get You On The Street?
Picture this . . . . . a late winter evening and my cell phone rings at about 10pm. Being that my phone is primarily a work phone and my profession is PR, a late evening or early morning call can never be a good thing. One of my clients is an airline pilot training organisation . . . . eek, late night cell phone calls get the adrenalin pumping, visions of planes crashing!
The phone is in the office, so I jump out of bed, race down the hall and grab my phone on the last ring....
A shy-sounding, soft spoken man is on the line and uncomfortably says:
"Um, yeah, ah, I saw your ad and just like wondered, like, where you are located and what your rates are?"
Hmmmm.... I was niave and confused. Had I inadvertantly placed an ad for my communications services and couldn't remember? My fees are $135 and hour, but I don't usually start out my sales process by talking money (learned that in some sales training class years ago).
So, I say in a very business-like, rather stern voice: "What kind of services are you looking for?"
He suddenly realised he probably had the wrong number as the woman on the other end of the line didn't seem terribly receptive. "Oh sorry, wrong number, bye!"
Hmmmm....
Fast forward several weeks later, again, very late night and my cell phone beeps. Not entirely unusual as my UK client often texts me ay odd hours - "this must be Karen," I think.
I hunt down the beeping phone in my office and select my text mailbox:
"Saw yr ad and am intrsted. Wht R ur fees?"
Okay, I'm getting this now. I text back: "U got wrong nmbr. Cn u pls tell me was this an ad 4 escort svc? I hv got a few of these funny msgs-i may hv 2 chg my numbr as it must b similar! Thxs 4 yr reply."
Nothing back. At first I thought the guy might think I was a cop trying to bust a prostitution ring and that's why he never replied. I felt very much like Olivia on SVU . . . until later . . . I remembered prostitution is legal in NZ, so he just must have been busy (maybe on a 'date'--eek!).
So, tonight, I was determined to read thru the Escort Services column in the local paper to see if my phone matches any of the young ladies in waiting....
"Curvaceous, busty red head for all your needs and desires" (hmm... needs AND desires). Anyway, no phone match.
"Stunning beauty, prv, discreet, specials avail." (hmm....specials?). Again, no phone match.
And then at the bottom of the column clearly in the wrong section of the wanted ads (I'd be asking for a free advert if I were them):
"Colonic hydrotherapy - bowel irrigation, have a spring clean!" (ouch). No match either.
After thoroughly checking out the paper, Rod reminds me that NZ mobile phones all have the same area code, so my would-be clients could be calling from anywhere around the country. To track down my phone-twin, I'd have to read all escort service ads everywhere. Entertaining, but daunting.........
I don't think I'll change my number. It's very entertaining. I think next time I'll tell them my hourly rates are $135 and ask them what they would expect for that (I'm curious now). I'll have to think of my answer when they ask if I have specials available. . . .
Until next time, this is the:
"Flat-chested, 30-something, grey brunette, in bed by 9, enjoys threesome with husband and cats. Gr8 hrly rates and extra-specials available."
A.K.A. Heather
The phone is in the office, so I jump out of bed, race down the hall and grab my phone on the last ring....
A shy-sounding, soft spoken man is on the line and uncomfortably says:
"Um, yeah, ah, I saw your ad and just like wondered, like, where you are located and what your rates are?"
Hmmmm.... I was niave and confused. Had I inadvertantly placed an ad for my communications services and couldn't remember? My fees are $135 and hour, but I don't usually start out my sales process by talking money (learned that in some sales training class years ago).
So, I say in a very business-like, rather stern voice: "What kind of services are you looking for?"
He suddenly realised he probably had the wrong number as the woman on the other end of the line didn't seem terribly receptive. "Oh sorry, wrong number, bye!"
Hmmmm....
Fast forward several weeks later, again, very late night and my cell phone beeps. Not entirely unusual as my UK client often texts me ay odd hours - "this must be Karen," I think.
I hunt down the beeping phone in my office and select my text mailbox:
"Saw yr ad and am intrsted. Wht R ur fees?"
Okay, I'm getting this now. I text back: "U got wrong nmbr. Cn u pls tell me was this an ad 4 escort svc? I hv got a few of these funny msgs-i may hv 2 chg my numbr as it must b similar! Thxs 4 yr reply."
Nothing back. At first I thought the guy might think I was a cop trying to bust a prostitution ring and that's why he never replied. I felt very much like Olivia on SVU . . . until later . . . I remembered prostitution is legal in NZ, so he just must have been busy (maybe on a 'date'--eek!).
So, tonight, I was determined to read thru the Escort Services column in the local paper to see if my phone matches any of the young ladies in waiting....
"Curvaceous, busty red head for all your needs and desires" (hmm... needs AND desires). Anyway, no phone match.
"Stunning beauty, prv, discreet, specials avail." (hmm....specials?). Again, no phone match.
And then at the bottom of the column clearly in the wrong section of the wanted ads (I'd be asking for a free advert if I were them):
"Colonic hydrotherapy - bowel irrigation, have a spring clean!" (ouch). No match either.
After thoroughly checking out the paper, Rod reminds me that NZ mobile phones all have the same area code, so my would-be clients could be calling from anywhere around the country. To track down my phone-twin, I'd have to read all escort service ads everywhere. Entertaining, but daunting.........
I don't think I'll change my number. It's very entertaining. I think next time I'll tell them my hourly rates are $135 and ask them what they would expect for that (I'm curious now). I'll have to think of my answer when they ask if I have specials available. . . .
Until next time, this is the:
"Flat-chested, 30-something, grey brunette, in bed by 9, enjoys threesome with husband and cats. Gr8 hrly rates and extra-specials available."
A.K.A. Heather
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